Arundel School is home to the most original copies. We hold
our breath for six years and only breathe after the war has been won. Despite
this, we only leave with sweet memories. Therefore every student leaving
Arundel realises that life at Arundel was a piece of cake.
How then are we groomed to be so obedient and trouble free?
The day starts off as light as a feather of lead. Each Arundel girl moves
around from floor to floor, door to door with a bag that only weighs half a
tonne. In this bag is her social life. She would have most probably been up all
night having a party and staying up late with different types of books. The
hangover from all this is totally worth it- who would not thoroughly enjoy
this? Waking up and looking into the mirror and reading your French homework
from your forehead. It is a different decoration each day, bright and
colourful.
Carrying a heavy bag on your back must have been
scientifically proven healthy. The bag latches onto you and squeezes your
shoulders to the extent that you can hardly breathe, but I guess that is only
part of the exercise! In actual fact, as the bag pierces through your spleen,
bending and stretching the bones, your body learns to be flexible. After all,
who would not find a muscly girl attractive?
Furthermore at Arundel, subjects do not stab you from the
back; they do so from the front where you see it coming. Lesson time is the
only period during the day time walks and does not fly. All teachers make sure
no one is clearly confused. For example, one leaves the Mathematics class
knowing that ancestral spirits have descended upon them and they have the
ability to calculate pi in their head. The class will be so alive with
expressive silence- and of course not because no one has a clue on what is
going on.
The three o’clock bells are the most non-violent restraint.
One is then allowed to day dream and reminisce about the sport they are going
to play in the bleating sun. As the sun’s rays hammer our forehead, we know
that it is motivation to take a shower in the evening. As a matter of fact, why
would one need a hat for just an hour or two of sport as opposed to the thirty
minutes of break time? Everyone knows that skin cancer is only prevalent
between ten and ten thirty in the morning and after that, the risk diminishes.
Therefore, at Arundel, everything makes perfect sense.
Matukx
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