"Things I Wish My Teacher Knew" -- #R.T.S.

Johnny made his way to the principal’s office. He wasn’t nervous at all. He knocked.

Principle: Come in, Johnny and take a seat.

Johnny sits on a black leather chair, leaning forward perhaps getting a little too comfortable.

Principle: Mrs Briggs tells me you’re not the most cooperative student in her class. Why is that?”

Johnny: I don’t know Sir, I really don’t know.

(The principle sighs.)

Principle: Okay. She gave me a list of things you’ve done in the two weeks we’ve been at school. (He clears his throat and leans forward, pushing his glasses up to read the paper.) It says here that you’ve been late for lessons five times already.

Johnny: I was preparing for her lessons Sir, I was taking a break so that I could be fresh and alive for her lessons. No lies.

(The principle frowns.)

Principle:  Okay. ‘Johnny disrupts lessons by disturbing other students who are trying to work’. How about that?

Johnny: Sir, I prefer the term “having constructive discussions with my classmates” to consolidate my knowledge. They never complain.

Principle: And how do you explain your ‘forgetting’ to hand in homework on time, seven times already?”

Johnny: It’s not handing it in late Sir, it’s me taking my time on my work and making sure I put a lot of effort into it. When Mrs Briggs marks my paper, it’ll be easy for her because of my immaculate work.

Principle: Oh Johnny. Failing tests continuously?

Jonny: I’ll let you in on a secret Sir. (He leans forward, whispering). I’m not really failing. I’m pretending so that when I get straight A’s for my finals, Mrs Briggs will be very proud of me.”

Principle: You’ve been eating in class Johnny? Unacceptable, I…

Johnny: No, no Sir. I need energy to be able to learn and the way to do that is to take in glucose which will then be used for respiration by my metabolism, providing me with energy.

Principle: And not participating in class since the beginning of the school year? Johnny! I am disappointed in you!

Johnny: Listen Sir, no need for the hullabaloo,   I do that so that I’m able to absorb everything Mrs Briggs says. Being clever, like me? It’s hard.

(The principle is so dumb-struck that he can’t even move. Johnny stands up and leaves.)

#R.T.S.