"Why Arundel girls fail AS" -- Nyasha Elose

After hearing of all the D’s and U’s received by last year’s lower sixes I have decided to come up with a list of reasons why they failed. It is also a list of why other lower sixes, in the past failed and why my year group will fail as well or “get U’s” as was so kindly said by my Chemistry teacher.

Firstly, we do not get enough homework. Last week, my biology teacher gave me only two, 10 page worksheets to do! I finished them in time to have my supper at midnight. I for one, think that is unacceptable. Teachers should give us homework that takes at least five hours to go through not this measly three hours they’ve settled on. Other lazy students might want to argue that they need time to “sleep” and “eat” and “socialize with their families”, all I have to say is eating and sleeping will not get them their A’s. Besides the fact that a lot of homework helps us to obtain A grades, it keeps us off the streets. You won’t catch any Lower Six Arundel girl taking cocaine when she knows she has 30 pages of notes to write in one night.

Secondly, we do not have enough learning time. We have lessons for approximately 5 hours and 20 minutes; I sleep for longer than that during holidays! We have such frivolous time allocations for “break” and “lunch” and even that unnecessary club period. I approve of rest time and form time being cut off, they were such useless periods but I feel that we should have done the sensible thing and cut out break and lunch as well. How are we expected to get A grades when we learn for a mere five hours? Eight hours is ideal, with no breaks in between to keep those “brain juices” flowing. Who needs to eat when education is at hand? Perhaps chapel should be shortened to five minutes; fifteen minutes is as much a waste of time as rest was. Who needs to put their bag down and bask in the sun? The same person who drags out a five minute prayer into a fifteen minute one that’s who. Ah, and it does say “Men shall not live by bread alone” in the Bible; one more reason to cut out lunch!

I believe that if all my suggestions are followed precisely Arundel will never have to suffer through seeing lower sixes get anything less than an A.

Nyasha Elose